By: MuMu

1.早上老弟翻报纸：“泰国柬埔寨要打仗了”

我：“跟谁打？”

弟愣了片刻：“泰国柬埔寨是两个国家！！！！！”

2.同学聚会跟家里聚会重了，期间被爹妈狂打电话，晚上回去跟弟交流

弟：“那豆腐挺好吃的你觉得呢”

我：“我去晚了没吃到”

弟：“恩我觉得他们好烦啊老给你打电话”

我：“我觉得也是”

弟：“同学聚会还不让你好好玩，一年就一次，你说青春有几个一年啊！！”

$@#$￥%#)@

3.我妈一同事为儿子早恋影响成绩发愁，她还有个小女儿今年五岁

我妈跟人家说：“让你女儿早点上学吧，早上学好处很多啊，我闺女上高中的时候年纪小啥都不懂光知道学习。。。”

我喷饭。。。。

弟在一旁：“老姐你太笨了，为啥我年纪也小可是啥都知道呢”

@#$#%$#

4.电视上在谈剩女

我：“你姐剩下了咋办呢”

弟：“找个剩下的男的呗”

我：“不行，我要找嫩的，你同学有合适的么给姐介绍下”

弟一脸淡定：“他们都不喜欢老太婆”

我大怒：“谁是老太婆！！！”

弟继续淡定：“别的事情可以谦虚，这个就不用谦虚了”

5.在家看宫，大呼感动

我弟侧目：“老姐我好羡慕你啊，你好单纯。。。。”

@#￥%#%#

AI-generated translation.

  1. In the morning my little brother was flipping through the newspaper: “Thailand and Cambodia are going to war.”

Me: “Fight who?”

He froze for a moment: “Thailand and Cambodia are two different countries!!!!”

  1. My classmates’ gathering overlapped with a family gathering, and during it my parents kept bombarding me with phone calls. When I got back that night, I talked it over with my brother.

Brother: “That tofu was pretty good, don’t you think?”

Me: “I got there late, I didn’t get any.”

Brother: “Yeah, I thought they were so annoying, always calling you.”

Me: “I think so too.”

Brother: “At a classmates’ reunion they still wouldn’t let you have fun properly. It only happens once a year—how many once-a-years does youth even have!!”

$@#$￥%#)@

  1. One of my mom’s coworkers was worried that her son’s puppy love was affecting his grades. She also has a little daughter who is five this year.

My mom told her: “Let your daughter start school early. Starting early has lots of benefits. When my daughter was in high school she was so young she didn’t understand anything and only knew how to study…”

I nearly sprayed out my food….

My brother, from the side: “Sis, you’re too dumb. Why was I young too, but I knew everything?”

@#$#%$#

  1. The TV was talking about leftover women.

Me: “What if your sister gets left over?”

Brother: “Then find a leftover man.”

Me: “No way. I want a younger one. Do any of your classmates fit? Introduce one to your sister.”

My brother, calm as ever: “They don’t like old ladies.”

I exploded: “Who are you calling an old lady!!!”

He stayed perfectly calm: “For other things, modesty is fine. For this, there’s no need to be modest.”

  1. I was watching Gong at home and crying out about how moving it was.

My brother glanced sideways at me: “Sis, I’m so envious of you. You’re so innocent….”

@#￥%#%#